Liquid Assets (Liquid Regret #3) Read online

  She hugs me and I know I’m shaking. “I called your name a few times and you didn’t answer. I walked in here and you were just frozen and didn’t respond. You scared me, Max.”

  I put my hands on her cheeks and look into her beautiful green eyes. “I’m fine, Mia. I promise. I was just lost in thought. How are you, darling?”

  She smiles at me. My time spent as her “pretend boyfriend” was what ultimately caused my father to find me. I was thrust into the spotlight but I would do it all over again. Seeing Damien happy and knowing Mia was the one that made him that way was all I needed. We spent hours talking and laughing while we attended events together. Damien and his fake engagement to Oksana was a stupid publicity stunt cooked up by the label. But, I thank God every day that it happened. Mia became one of my best friends and she forced me to get out of my own head and enjoy life. I’d been so scared of being found, hiding in plain sight for so long. It wouldn’t have been long before someone discovered who I really was anyway.

  I cringe. Harley knows who I am. He’s never judged me and he’s never asked me why I’m hiding. He’s kept my secret all these years. I also confided in Della and she didn’t care. The only person she knew and loved was Max Callum. Someday, the rest of the guys will learn who I am and I can only pray that they don’t care either. My past is so buried that there will never be any public record of anything bad happening behind the closed doors of the perfect mansion in Newport. Learning my real identity won’t be the true blow. It will be all the questions that make me run.

  “Did you hear me?” Mia giggles and her entire face lights up. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

  I laugh. “I’ve been writing and one part of the song isn’t quite right. I’m sorry. You have my complete attention.”

  She sits at the bar in the kitchen and takes a deep breath. “Damien and I have set a date. We want to keep it small and as private as we can. I’m asking my sister to be my maid of honor and he’s asking his cousin, Steve, to be his best man. We originally said that would be enough but the more we try to plan, it just doesn’t seem right not having you guys up there with us.”

  “Mia, we’ll all be there. No matter what. You don’t need to worry about us feeling left out.”

  “Too bad. We want to be surrounded by everyone we love. So, that’s why I’m here.”

  She’s so nervous and I can’t help but laugh at her. I take her hands in mine and lean closer to her. She has to be such a strong woman to keep up with Damien and put up with all the bullshit that goes along with being a rock star. And she does it with poise and more grace than anyone I know. But there’s this soft side to her, a quiet calm that she tries to keep hidden from people. When she’s with me, it comes out full force. And with it, jitters and nerves.

  “I want you to stand on my side. I want you to be one of the ones standing up for me that day.” I must look confused because she squeezes my hands. “You’re one of my best friends and you were with me through a really hard time. I know you’d probably rather be up there with Damien, but..”

  “Mia,” I interrupt her, “I would love to. There’s nowhere else I could even imagine being. I love you, Red. I’ll absolutely stand with you.”

  “I love you, too.” The tears in her eyes do me in. I have to hug her.

  She giggles as I pick her up. “Damien better marry you quick. I might try to steal you on your wedding day.”

  “You’d give up Rachel for me?” She screams as I tickle her.

  “I don’t have Rach. But if I did, I wouldn’t give her up for anyone.” And it’s true.

  “Make you a deal. I promise to check in on her and make sure she’s ok if you promise me that you’ll take care of Damien when you go back out on tour next week. I’m worried that he’ll be too caught up making sure that Harley’s ok that he won’t be able to eat or sleep. I’d never admit that to him. He’d tell me I was worrying for nothing.”

  I shake her hand. “Deal.”

  “I need to get going. I’m heading over to my sister’s house tonight to start the wedding plans. Girl stuff.” She grabs her keys off the counter and tilts her head when she looks at me. “Swear you’re ok?”

  “Yes, Mom. I’m fine. Go solve the problems of the world. Tell Lily hi.”

  She smiles at me as she leaves. I’m honored to be asked to be on her side at the wedding. I thought I’d be asked but certainly not by Mia.

  I pick up the shards of glass that seem to be on every inch of my floor. I even find some on the counter near the refrigerator. The orange juice has started to dry and everything is sticky.

  “Max!”

  “Jesus.” One of the shards of glass that I’m holding pierces my finger. “You’re the second person to scare the shit out of me in the last hour. Did I forget to lock my door?”

  Chance laughs as he steps over me. He grabs a beer from the fridge. “There’s this really hot chick standing on your front porch with Maddox. She’s fucking hot, dude. Didn’t even give me a second look. That’s how hot she is.”

  “You’re an idiot.”

  “I’m serious, dude. She said her name’s Karen Maxwell. I wouldn’t mind banging Karen Maxwell.”

  “Shut up.” I stand up so fast that I’m lightheaded. “What’s her name?”

  “Pay attention, Max. The hot chick standing at your front porch with Maddox says her name is Karen Maxwell and she wants to see Callum. That’s you, fucker. If you don’t hit that, I will.”

  “Shut your fucking mouth, Chance. I’m serious. Shut the fuck up.” I’m sweating. This can’t be happening.

  “I said you could have first dibs. What’s your fucking problem?” Chance just stares at me.

  “Cal?”

  It’s a voice that haunts me and I nearly drop to my knees. I fight to catch my breath. Maybe if I don’t turn around, this won’t be real. Chance cocks an eyebrow at me and I hold the counter for balance. I turn so slowly, I’m almost convinced I’m not moving. This can’t be real. It just can’t be.

  When our eyes lock, she covers her mouth. Tears flood her cheeks as she stares at me. “Cal.”

  No no no no no no no no!

  Chapter 6

  “Karen.” Is that my voice? I can’t find my breath.

  She runs at me and throws her arms around my neck. Christ, she’s beautiful. Her silky, blond hair curtains her face and her bright eyes mirror mine. Light freckles cover her nose in the same pattern that they do on mine.

  “How?” Tears are flowing down my face and I don’t care. Manhood be damned. I’ve dreamed of this for so many years. I just wouldn’t let myself have it.

  Her hands cup my cheeks. “I’ve missed you so much. I love you, Cal.”

  I kiss her cheeks and her forehead. “I love you, too.”

  Chance clears his throat. I look at him and his smirk makes me laugh.

  “Karen, this is my buddy, Chance. Chance, this is mine and off limits.”

  Chance takes Karen’s hand and kisses the inside of her wrist. “Karen, when you’re ready for a real man, you just give me a call. I’ll make it worth your time.”

  She shakes her head and pulls her hand away. Someone immune to the Lennon charm? Good girl. “Nice to meet you. Cal, can we be alone somewhere?”

  “Chance, you know your way out.” I take Karen’s hand and lead her toward my bedroom. Chance is left speechless but I don’t care. She is my priority.

  “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Imagine my surprise when my girlfriend took me to a Liquid Regret concert and the drummer just happened to be my brother. Years, Cal. Years.” Her tears stream down her face and she crosses her arms over her chest. “Why did you leave me there?”

  I feel the moment my heart shreds in two. It’s the most painful thing I’ve felt in my whole life. “I was a teenager, Kar. I didn’t know what else to do. I had to get away. I couldn’t stay there anymore. I went back for you but you were gone by then. You wouldn’t understand even if I could say it out loud.”

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nbsp; “I would understand!” She yells at me and in that moment, I know. I made the biggest mistake of my life when I walked out and didn’t take her with me. I never thought they’d turn to her.

  “Oh my god.” I grab her and pull her into my chest. She’s so fragile. I failed. I didn’t keep her safe. “What did they do to you?”

  She breaks. Her sobs will haunt me for the rest of my life. “They said they sent you off to another school. I kept praying you’d come home. You never did.”

  “Karen..”

  She interrupts me. “No. Let me finish. I lived in hell. They made me do things I didn’t want to do. I felt so alone.” She wipes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “One night I heard Uncle Kent yelling at Dad. He was so mad. I’d never seen him like that. He was threatening to tell someone about a night in the pool house a couple years before. He said they had stolen your innocence and taken your future away. I knew that night that it wasn’t ever going to stop.”

  I drop to my knees and pull her against me. My face is buried in her belly and I’m trembling. “I’m so sorry. I thought you’d be safe. They liked boys. I wasn’t the first one.”

  “Kent saw me and he came up to my room. He said that he’d find a safe place for me. He didn’t think it was happening to me. He told me about what they did to you. He didn’t do anything to protect us. Nothing. He only cared about Dad’s money and making sure we looked like the perfect family. I finished high school half a year early and went as far away as I could for college. I didn’t have your strength to run.”

  “No. You were stronger. You stayed. I will kill them for touching you.”

  She shakes her head and wipes her tears. “They didn’t. They didn’t touch me. They made me do things to them but they never touched me.”

  I pull her into my lap and rock back and forth. “Thank you, God. Thank you.”

  I’m going to need years of therapy to get over what I did to my sister. I was so selfish and I left like she didn’t even matter. She mattered. I’ve spent every day of my adult life trying to forget her big, blue eyes and the way she looked at me like I was a superhero.

  “Can you stay here with me? Do you have someone you need to go back for?”

  Her smile is all the balm I need to soothe my broken soul. “I just moved to LA. I don’t have anyone in the world.”

  “Yes you do.” I kiss her cheek and hug her again. “You have me. I’ll never let anyone hurt you again.”

  “What’s with you today?” Harley squints at me when I drop the beat for the third time in the same song.

  “It’s all the late night sex.” Chance laughs. “Stud boy’s finally getting a piece.”

  When every pair of eyes lands of me, I just shrug my shoulders. I don’t have a clue what he’s talking about and I don’t give enough of a shit to find out. My brain has been fried since Karen walked back into my life. My emotions are all over the map. One minute, I’m so happy to have her back in my life. The next, I’m so filled with rage I’m ready to drive to Newport Beach and kill my father.

  “You still with us?” Harley touches my arm and I jump.

  “Yeah, sorry.” I shake my head to try to clear my thoughts.

  “Not going to tell them about Ms. ‘I love you Cal’?” Chance strums his guitar and smirks.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Karen. You should have seen her. Shit. She blew me off twice.” Chance starts laughing. “Guess love really is blind.”

  “Karen?” Harley’s eyes widen when he looks at me. All I can do is shake my head to keep him quiet.

  I’m not ready to open up about my life. Harley and Della are the only ones who I’ve ever told about my past. It was a drunken, emotional night and I was so overwhelmed with loneliness that I turned to Della in a moment of weakness. I told her everything and she held me for hours. When Harley came home, he never even questioned what was happening. He just joined us on the couch and hugged both of us. It was that night that I let go of the ghosts of my father and step-mother. I decided I was allowed to choose my own family and I chose them.

  The nightmares still haunt me. I’ve been seconds away from opening up to Rachel but I’m afraid she’ll run away as fast as she can. I can’t take that chance. I can’t take that chance with anyone. I’m Max Callum, drummer for Liquid Regret, best friend to Mia, heartbroken sidekick to Harley, the happy face of the band, the voice of reason. The old me is gone. Karen may remind me of who I once was but she’s a part of my future as Max Callum. The brother she knew is never coming back.

  “I’m out.” I know I should stay and rehearse. We leave in just a few days. We haven’t had much practice time since Harley came home. I need to exist without feeling like I’m going to have a panic attack. I don’t want to die inside just to take a deep breath. Karen has my head fucked up. I need to fix it. I need to find some balance before I leave.

  “I’ll walk out with you.” Harley holds the door for me. “You ok?”

  “I’ll be fine. I just need to make sure Karen’s ok before we head back out of the road. I’ve asked her to stay with me for now.”

  “How did she find you?”

  “Hiding in plain sight was easy before we hit it big. They’ll all find me now. I need to prepare myself.”

  “Max.”

  “No. It’s fine. I just need some time.” I push past him to the car but he stops me.

  “Call Rachel. Talk about this.” He holds my arm too tightly to pull away.

  “She’s the last person I’d call about this.”

  “Then call her as your friend. Max, she won’t judge you. It’s your past. She likes you too. She’ll understand. You were a victim.”

  I yank my arm away. “I refuse to be a victim, Harley. You should understand that better than anyone.”

  “You’re going to lose yourself in that silence, Callum.”

  “Fuck you, Griff. You don’t know shit about it.” I grab the car door and pull it open so hard I almost lose my balance.

  “I know more than you think.” As Harley turns away, I swear I hear him whisper, “If you won’t go to her, I’ll send her to you.”

  Chapter 7

  “Have you thought about drinking today?” I know Harley hears this question from me every day but he handles it like a champ. It’s the most important question I can ask.

  “Not as often as I usually do.” His smile warms my heart. “The true test starts tomorrow.”

  “Are you worried the press tour will bring too much temptation?” I pull my pen out to write my answer but stop when I see him staring at it.

  “I’m better equipped than I was the last time. I think the desire will be there but I don’t need to drink.” His deep breath says so much. “Laney will join us the second week. I want her with me the whole time but she insists on working.”

  I laugh. “How does being away from her make you feel?”

  “I’m terrified.”

  “Why are you terrified?”

  “I’m scared if I leave, someone will hurt her. I couldn’t handle it again. I trust my band. I trust my manager. I trust her. I don’t trust anyone else. I trusted Lex and he took away what mattered most. What if he takes her away too?”

  “Lex is gone, Griff. He can’t hurt you anymore.” I touch his leg and he settles.

  “There’s always another Lex out there. Another Oksana. I died the day Della did. The old me did, anyway. I’ll never be the same.” Harley’s eyes fill with tears. “My life is so much better than it was six months ago. But I’m different. I won’t ever be the man I was a year ago.”

  “Love heals. I know it’s hard to see that on the dark days. You are loved by so many people. There’s a lot of good left in the world. I’d hate for you to miss any more of it.” I want him to know I’m his friend, too. I may have been hired to do a job but he’s become very special to me.

  “I’m not ready to use the love word. I feel it. I’m just afraid to admit it. I think that admitting it is letting go of Della and I
’m not sure I can ever do that.” He looks right at me and his silence speaks volumes. “Laney is amazing. She talks with me about her every day. I can tell her stories and be completely honest and she never judges me. I’ve never seen even an ounce of jealousy. The woman I loved more than anything is gone and the woman that makes my heart beat helps me keep that love alive. I’m crazy about her, Rach. I’m just scared I’m going to forget about Della.”

  “Griff, you’ll never forget her. She was your entire world for so long. Part of you will always be hers. That doesn’t mean another part of you can’t belong to someone else. I’ve gotten a chance to talk to Laney and she really is special. I feel like part of Della stays alive because of the love Laney has for you. You’re getting a second chance at love. Some people never even get a first chance.”

  He shakes his head at me and smiles. It brightens his entire face. He’s really beautiful and I’m so happy to be seeing this side of him after all these months.

  “Before you go, I want to talk with you about Oksana’s trial. I hear they’re moving the case to another county because they feel she won’t get a fair trial here. What are you feeling?” He rolls his eyes at my pen when I pick it up again.

  “I know what’s coming. I know her lawyer will pull some bullshit about how Lex forced her to do it. Maybe he did. I know she’ll be found guilty. Part of me wants to see her fry for what she did. But there’s this small part of me that hopes she spends the rest of her life in jail and I can get some answers when I’m ready. Joshua talked with me the other night. I know Lex did it because he was in love with Oksana. I know she helped because she was in love with me. Either way, they were both sick. I know what rage feels like. I’m trying to remember that’s what she was feeling when she took Della away from me.”

  I didn’t realize I was crying until Harley reaches forward and wipes the tears from my cheek. He has healed so much. “You’ve come such a long way. Seven months ago, you wouldn’t even talk to me. Now you open your heart and work through your feelings as you talk. The friend in me is so proud of you. The therapist says you won’t need to come see me so often anymore.”